April 18th

Its a date that you repeat over and over again, to friends, family and strangers. Especially as the time nears, people will just ask you for the date with no other intention of continuing the conversation. If you've ever been pregnant and start to show your baby bump, you know what I'm talking about. The checker at the grocery store, the barista in the coffee shop, the clerk at the bank, aunts, uncles, friends... "When's your due date?" When you're growing something very precious inside of you, everyone wants to know when it will come out. Then the next thing is everyone with a birthday around that time will make silly requests that you have your baby on their birthday. It's fun, and if it's your first baby, you hope everyone will notice and ask you. It is fun to talk about the little one inside you anytime others want to listen.

This April was exciting for us as my sister turns 18 next week and David's grandpa turned 70 yesterday. The thought of bringing new lives into the world around such happy, meaningful dates brought us joy.

Though today was our expected due date of new life and their lives ended quickly almost four months ago, I can still say I was filled with much joy today. In different ways of course, and if I could change pieces of my last four months, I would; but you know, today was much more beautiful and pain free than I expected.

I didn't expect people to remember the significance of today. I was okay knowing this was my day in my heart and not having it be well known. Last night before I went to bed, I got a note from our cousin saying that she was thinking of me and of tomorrow. Her kindness in remembering brought tears and great comfort knowing their little lives were remembered by someone. Today I never felt sadness, only contentment and the only tears that came were because the kindness of others. David's aunt, Tami had this necklace made for me. It meant so much to me that I think a few tears spilled out.


David's mom also brought me beautiful tulips and a hug. For those of you who sent me messages today also, Thank you. There is strong comfort in the recognition of our loss and to know you empathize with us. We have felt your love in abundance.