Thankful Thursday

I've been meaning to join in on the popular Thursday blog posts; Thankful Thursday.

I was thinking all day about what to write, and now as I sit down to type, my mind is a little fragmented. Even so, I know just what I am thankful for today.

I am so thankful for my baby niece. She is such a delight to our entire family. So sweet, happy and chubby. I love holding her and kissing her. She is squealing and smiling, it is very addicting to be around her. I really don't think I can explain how much joy she brings to our family. My little sister, who has grown up lots, is such a wonderful mom. I love watching Lydia and Lianna interact. Beautiful. Lianna tends to Lydia's needs so effortlessly, and it doesn't take much to notice how the two adore each other. Again, I have few words to express how I feel about them. Love.



Here is a photo of them I took last week.


And of Lydia being a doll. If you want to see more, click here.


As I am about to post this, I just looked at my computer clock to see if my heavy eyes were an indicator of the time. Guess what I saw?! It is Wednesday! Well, I guess Thankful Thursday came a day early this week!

Confessions

I can't sleep, even though I'm tired.

I have so many thoughts cluttering my mind I'm not really sure what is truly bothering me.

Tomorrow morning we have our conference call with the foster mom of the little guy we will be going to committee for. I'm scared of it not working out again. I feel like it is time that something should happen. And yet when I say that and admit that I feel that way, I feel guilty. Almost as if it won't happen now because I just said I think it is about time.

I'm upset that I handled a situation by demanding grace when I had none to show. So self centered. How could I have been so blind to my own ugly, all I could see was the other persons, and I even called them out. Why? How can I do something so foolish?

I don't know what questions to ask tomorrow, not that I don't have any, but every question makes the disappointment harder to swallow. Not asking questions will look like I haven't read the child summaries sent to us, or worse, that I don't care. It is just the opposite, I care deeply, and finding a good balance of caring and attaching has been a difficult dance.

I'm tired.

Thanks for letting me confess. Thank you for not judging. Today was a really good day. Sometimes it is okay to have both a good day and a full mind before bed. At least I think it should be okay. So, goodnight.

Monday Nights

Lately our Monday nights have consisted of 9 5th and 6th grade boys running around desperately trying to win a basket ball game. David and I are coaching. Well, David is coaching, I'm there for moral support. I have to admit, come 4:30pm I'm not really ready to leave whatever is cooking on the stove, if anything has it made it to that point, and walk over to the YMCA gym to watch sweaty kids act like they are Harlem Globetrotters. Seriously, kids these days think very highly of themselves. I guess everyone wants to be a superstar. Anyway, that is way beyond the point here, sorry I got away from myself!

Every time I walk into the old gym, I'm so glad I did. I really do love kids, sloppy three pointers and all. Something really hit me last night during their game. I really love my husband. He is such a good guy to be out there during the week with these kids. He doesn't complain about practices and he doesn't get upset when they lose their games (all three so far). He doesn't yell from the side line. He listens, and tries to cater to most of their wants. We have quite the variety on our team... I mean it is 5th and 6th grade, remember?

Really this post is to David. Monday nights are a wonderful way to see you interact with the boys, the other teams and their parents. I love how you are confident enough to lead, and humble enough to show the boys how winning isn't the important piece. Thanks for not yelling, not that you ever do, but just thanks that you don't. I'm so happy we have each other, I am one lucky gal. Forever and always!




Just in case you were wondering what it is that I do...besides moral support?

Some how I am supposed to make sure the kids know the offensive plays... the key to winning a game may be that I should learn how these things work :)

Sisters, a snow bunny and pizza

I haven't posted any photos for a while, so instead of writing a post with words, here is my Saturday in photos. Enjoy.



My sister and I walked across the street for a few random shots and some fresh air.









It was a pretty lazy day.

Valerie came for a visit!




I made some pizza.




The boys cleaned.




Oh, the snow bunny...

Give Rest

As I am about to lie down in my comfortable, warm and safe bed, my spirit is heavy for those in Haiti. I managed to get in front of a TV tonight and my heart hurts for what I saw. What and how do we pray? How do I help? Safe and warm, I will sleep, next to my husband and knowing my family is also home and tucked in their beds. It is crazy how little we realize such simple knowledge can be so comforting.

Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love's sake. Amen. [[The Divine Hours]]

A Day at Home

I hate to say that it's taken a migraine to slow me down long enough to blog again. I don't know what I've been up to, but it sure has been fun!

We had a wonderful Christmas with lots of family and lots of traveling. Then we caught up on missed sleep over the New Year's weekend. I'm not proud to admit that I, at the ripe ol' age of 23, was asleep by 11pm on New Year's Eve. I won't be making that a tradition, but, well I really don't have an excuse. I've been enjoying time with my sister and swimming a few laps here and there, along with sewing mittens and trying new recipes. Huckleberry muffins came out of the oven today. I wish I could open my kitchen for a few hours a day, run a mini bakery out of it. I wonder if it would work? Last week I made Apple Cinnamon Cake with Caramel and Coconut Drizzle browned to a perfect crunch. Apple Crisps and my secret homemade hotcakes. Potato Rolls and soups. I really love to cook.

We have also entered another round in the adoption process. We should know sometime in the next couple of days when our committee date is scheduled. We will be going to committee for a one year old boy. To be honest I don't know what to think. I'm slightly worried about the out come of the committee again. The feeling when you answer the phone and hear "You were not selected", is most closely likened to a loss, a mini death. Though you know the child was never yours to "lose" in the first place, a connection, an attachment starts to form in our hearts the day we find out we have been selected. Reading paper after paper, file after file. Talking to social workers, foster moms, hearing the children play and cry in the background, you hear that little voice before you go to sleep at night, wondering and praying that it could be yours. As one could imagine when the little ones go to another family, you can't help but grieve in a small way that you won't get the opportunity this time. At the same time there is peace and closure that this child was placed with a family and the little one can start their journey with their forever family. Though I am nervous about the emotional ride, I am excited about the possibility, and this little one would make a wonderful fit into our home as well as our large and loving family.

I don't like posting without a picture, but my head hurts too bad to get back out of bed... so picture this;
Dressed but with messy hair and slippers on, I lay propped up by pillows on my half made bed. Other than the computer screen I'm typing on, I see a very cold looking day. Wind blowing the tree tops and bushes, hard packed snow that is really closer to ice covers the ground. Inside on the floor are two furry friends curled up so tightly they look like potato bugs under a rock, fast asleep. I think I might join them.