There seems to often be a tension between feeling sad and feeling like I want to move forward. This may or may not make any sense. It is like part of me just wants to sit and cry and think about how much I want to hold my babies. Then, other parts of me want to smile and enjoy life, not forgetting, but taking deep breaths and moving forward with life. I'm guessing it is okay to do both for now. Friday was a big step for me. I cleaned the babies' room. Huge warm tears rolled down my face as I took down the cradle. I folded the blankets and crib sets, put them back in boxes and placed them on the top shelf in the closet. Everything was so backwards! Instead of setting everything up, getting ready, it was time to put it away. I wasn't really sure when the time would come, but something came over me Friday with the warm sun and birds chirping. Almost as if Spring was really coming after all.
It has been a long winter here at the Henry Home. I'm ready for warmth, sunshine and new life. Today three little birds visited my front porch, they brought a smile to my face.
I thought I should put a small disclaimer here for all of you who read this blog; I am doing good, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. I know I often write about heavy and sad issues, but please don't think I am living in only those thoughts. I write about them more often because they are the thoughts that need to get out of my head and be sorted out. I am hoping as more time passes these conflicting and sad thoughts will lessen and I will have much more to write about. Until then, thanks for reading my story.
No comments:
Post a Comment