Why do I stay up SO late?

Okay a few years ago, scratch that, a few months ago, I wouldn't think 11:30 is so late, but when you get up when the rooster crows, or should I say the baby cries, I should have been in bed at 9!

Oh well, I'm sure most of you know what it is like to do your unfinished business during the dark hours of the day. When only you and, well, only you, are awake still.

As my mom always says, necessity breeds creativity, or invention, or something like that. Well with late nights and early mornings I have found that to be true. You are about to get a beauty secret that I have discovered recently. You know those soft, loose, puffy, purple bags under your eyes that are a result of sleep deprivation? Hemorrhoid cream works wonders. Just a dab will do the trick. And something else I've discovered, you are only one stomach flu away from your ideal weight! Okay, just kidding, but seriously that or chasing a 25 pound kiddo around really helps to give you that little boost you needed! Okay! TOO much TMI (that's how my grandma says it).

Thought you might want to look at a few cute pics to put better thoughts than hemorrhoid cream and stomach flu in your mind.










Ooo yikes, we are learning what 'no' means and sometimes we just don't like it!


Oh look at that, funny how fast they get over it!

To Be Here

Life and love have a way of moving us. Moving our will and adapting to new plans and ideas. Our expectations can change and even in the midst of a life that we may not recognize, we can find utter happiness. Sometimes happiness and joy only come in hindsight, but miraculously some experience it in the moment.

The 18th of April was to hold the anticipation of new life from my own womb, one year ago. Through a difficult journey, we said goodbye to many expectations and did our best to live in the moment.

To live in the moment is such a difficult thing to do. Either we are reminiscing, or rehashing something that is now our past, or we are planning, fretting, stressing, anticipating our future. How much time do we spend HERE?

Today I find a life that I could not have imagined being mine. We've found Zach, and he's found us. The mesh of our stories and the coming together of each of our needs and desires continues to bring us deep satisfaction and endless effort.

Again, to live in the moment. If I am not careful, it is always about tomorrow. When will I know it's okay to move him in his own room? When will I ever get the laundry caught up? If he could only talk I might know what's making him uncomfortable. I'll be happy when...

Finally in the middle of the madness, David stopped and told me to come watch what Zach was doing. He had learned how to fit the plastic balls into the top of the toy, making the toy play music and making Zachary dance. Three short weeks ago he couldn't figure out the toy. At first I didn't want to stop much longer, I was on a roll and I was getting 'something done'. Then David said "He's gonna get big fast". Gulp, was my throat getting tight? Nose tingling?

This is today, and this is all I'm certain about. I want to be here for it. It's so easy and yet sometimes I feel like such a simpleton for forgetting.

Photo Post

Here are a few snap shots from our past week.

We came home one day to a huge box on our front porch. Inside we found some books, a sweet card and tons of clothes from our family in Arizona. The clothes are fitting him perfectly and he had so much fun with cousin Lydia in the big box!







Our sweet friends Terri and Dennis Axness gave these cute balloons to us!




We had so much fun playing with these!


Here cousin Lydia is demonstrating how the kids felt about being in the car for hours.


Such a sweet time to watch the Spooners first visit to the park!





Our sweet families.




After looking through my photos this time around I'm beginning to see why the kids weren't so chipper... do you see what I see? Lots of sitting, strapped into seats and strollers? It is all beginning to become clearer now!




Grumpy, whinny, fussy, snotty, whatever... they are stinking cute!


Jack-jack and Lunis came along for the trip as well.

Confessions of 17 Day Old Mom

First things first, I do not have the time to blog like I used to. Or at least recently I haven't. I currently find myself cleaning during my "free" time and if I'm not cleaning, I'm working hard to finish my photography clients. I just feel like everything is a mess these days. I don't mind really, I just wish I knew how to 'do it all' again. I really don't want to get down on myself for wearing yesterdays makeup and drinking cold lattes, there isn't any shame I suppose.

I will say we've had a rough start at being home and making a routine. We enjoyed a week at home, then during the beginning of week two David's mom got ill. She had a few mild strokes that landed her in the hospital in Boise for about a week. We spent a few days visiting with her to help pass the time. She is home now and working on her recovery. Thankfully she is expected to recover back to her healthy self in a small amount of time. The strokes that occurred weren't long enough to cause any permanent damage, and we are so thankful we will have her around to be a wonderful grandma. As I'm sure each of you have experienced, having healthy loved ones suddenly fall ill is a very unsettling feeling and emotion to carry around. It is equally strange to see our parents needing our help and support. I always think of our parents as so young (which really they are). I'm thankful we are so close to be near them through difficult times.

Little Zach did so good at the hospital, we made millions of laps around the hallways, took a few naps on Grandpa Loren's bed and brightened many faces in Sue's room. After we made it back home we unloaded the car just to turn around and load it back up for a trip to Madras. David and Barry had been signed up for a trail race since January, so we made the trip with Lianna and Lydia, David, Barry, myself and Zach. We had a fun time visiting David's aunt and walking around Sisters during the boys 20 mile race. After four days of being gone we headed home. A quick side note; traveling with a child is a whole new realm. It was enjoyable, exhausting, and embarrassing all at the same time. I even experienced what it feels like to have your kid barf all over the restaurant floor because he stuffed his mouth too full and choked on his water. People staring, a complete stranger jumping up and looking for a mop. Yep, I felt like I had turned into 'that table' , the one you hope doesn't sit by you. Just two short weeks ago, I could dine and be completely unnoticed by anyone else around. Now if it is the wrong time of the morning, just ordering a coffee can turn heads.

Well, we wearily returned home. The boys were exhausted and sore from their race and Lianna and I were worn out from traveling a several hour car ride with two mostly happy, slightly whinny babies. We returned to our own beds, only to be up all night with food poisoning. I started and poor little Zach ended it. It got so bad that at 2am I had to call my mother, yes a grown adult had to call her sleeping mommy to come help her. In all fairness to me, I was laying lifeless on the bathroom floor too weak to lift my own fingers, let alone my crying baby who was covered in sickness. Where was David? Shivering with the chills, white as a ghost in bed asking if he needed to call 911. Yes is was bad. And now, slightly humorous. Poor Lianna also had it. We laid on the couches all day, achy and tired. After David and Zach went to bed, I almost had to laugh, here I was mopping spilled Pedialyte and washing dirty sheets. Who knew that even being sick makes a mess?



Photos to come...soon I promise.

Our First Week

Wow. Here it is, week one.

I think I have writers block. I keep writing things then deleting them. Writers block, or 'new-mommy-frazzled-brain-block'. Something like that. You know those days when you run to the post office only to find that you left your mail at home? Or you go to the same grocery store that you always go to, the one that doesn't take debit cards, and you don't have cash and your check book is empty? Even though you've already been home once to get the mail you forgot, you have to go back again, in the snow, walking, to get your check book so your family can eat dinner. It's the same day that you decide to make that trip to the neighboring town to get some laundry baskets, bottles and dish soap and a Spring blizzard hits and the freeway closes before you can get home. You know, the day when it's close to being bed time, and you just need to unwind, so you decide to make a lemon chiffon cake to relax and you realize that your cookbook is at your sisters, even though you just ran to the store to get a few ingredients. It's the same day that you can't believe you get to be the one that rocks your baby to sleep. You know, the day that every time you look into those deep blue eyes you smile, inside and out, because you know how lucky you are. A day when kissing soft cheeks and baby lips seems to set the whole world right. That day, when there is nothing left to do, or at least no energy to finish what is left to do, that you sit in front of your computer screen and look at countless photos of your precious family (while drinking tea and eating Cheddar Popchips) and feel deeply blessed.

I just had one of those days.

Here are a few photos of our first week together. Sometime soon, when I'm not so tired, I will actually write something. For now, goodnight.