Friday, June 5, 2009

Here are a few photos from recently...We've been spending time with our dogs out and about. We have also finished our chicken coop (Matt, it has been raining, but I'll see what photos I can get). We've had lots of family in town. So coming soon will be some photos of my sisters graduation, garden, chicken coop, family, dogs and maybe one of David and I.

We are doing well. Staying busy with productive projects and taking time here and there to enjoy some biking and friends. It is strange how quickly time has gone by. I was talking to David last night about this. I've had a few mixed emotions recently about life and our activities. Every once in a while I get hit, (as sudden as a bee sting when you're enjoying a picnic) I'll stop what I'm doing and think, there is no way I'd be doing this right now if the boys would have made it. Then I have a choice to make, choke back the tears and realize I am making the very best of things, or let the tears roll out and still make the best of things. For any of you who have lost little ones, I think you understand what I'm trying to say. There is nothing wrong with what I'm doing, it is just the thought that I'd rather be doing something else, like care after my children. This probably sounds like a bunch of gibberish, but I'm sure someone knows what I'm trying to get at. Those thoughts aren't too often, but they do pop in and out of my mind every now and then.
It feels good to get that out. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting to talk about my loss still. I feel like others have already heard it and expect that since I'm happy and living life that I'm done processing. I think for the most part that is just my insecurity, no one has actually made me feel that way. I guess I fear that someone will think, "She's still talking about babies?". So, that's what I've been spinning through the ol mind lately. Well, more than that, but that's all I'm writing about for now.

David and I are going to make sauce pans and play Monkey Ball @ his parents house... Good rainy day activities.

One last thing, I'd like to wish the two love birds in the picture below a very happy 50th wedding anniversary today. Grandma and Grandpa Henry, we love you very much.


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