Wednesday, September 15, 2010

This Summer and The Moments

This summer has been vastly different from any other I've yet to live. Having six years of your husband and most of your time all to your self, leaves much to be learned when it comes to mommy-hood.

A few things I've learned, and a few I'm still working on;

1. You can't do it all.

2. Not being frustrated that you can't do it all.

3. I'm not a bad person if we eat cereal for dinner.

4. He isn't a bad person even if his face looks like this Photobucket OR this Photobucket

5. If I'm at the doctors office, grocery store, or home, the most important thing is how I respond to that face.

6. It used to take moments in places like these to make my heart leap and my mind to feel alive. Travel, discovery, and seeing something new for the first time. No one could have told me that waking up to the same little face every morning would be my new discovery. It is now these moments, that truely make my spirit fly. The same gentle touch. His soft hair on my face. Never could these moments stop making me feel like I have the whole world in my arms.

7. Some of the hardest moments have been admitting our faults and short comings. It's hard to see things that you once loved not getting the time and attention they deserve. We only have so much energy, and we must be prudent about how we spend it. Saying goodbye to some dear friends is painful, and yet I have to find comfort that we did the right thing.

8. It's okay to cry.

9. Don't resubscribe to Martha Stewart Magazine. I'm nothing near the "magazine" house, yard, food, ect.

10. Don't be too busy for moments like these...

11. Even though adjusting to a child can be hard at times on a marriage, I am constantly overwhelmed at the love and goodness that David shows our little guy.

12. It's okay if he doesn't think this is as good of an idea as I do.

13. Raising a child that was born to another woman has it's challenges at times. Recently a frequent prayer leaving my heart asks for compassion and love for her. We have some limited written contact and it can be painful, sad and also difficult not to pass judgment for things. I know this one thing, he is in my arms, but I know he is still in her heart and I just pray we can be who we need to be to him first, and second to her.

14. It is okay to cry.

15. Art and craft projects, hosting fancy meals, having a weed free yard, wearing clothes without food remnants stuck to them, blow drying my hair, shopping just for fun, having fresh flowers arranged around the house, and visible vacuum lines in the carpet just can't take the place of watching moments like these...

16. Taking time for each other is so valuable.

17. Remembering that it was because of this person I felt like I had a reason to be better. With him, I wanted to live life. This life.

18. In the craziness of life and all the reasons to fear the unknown, it was this picture this morning that caused me to hope. Believe in life. Maybe for the first time in 13 weeks I was overwhelmed with deep excitement. Finally letting go of some of my fears, I felt the joy and allowed myself to be touched by the delight of new life.