Two Years?

Where has all the time gone?

Today we remember breathlessly holding two babies. Soft snow laying a white background. We could never tell you through our tears and pain, that we would be okay. The next day seemed impossible, let alone months and years.

Yet, here we are. Two years later. It is pretty incredible the transformation and beauty that can be birthed in sorrow. Not saying that we are perfect, quite the contrary. We learn how to live with the imperfections, we embrace our humanity. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, and yet we live in a fallen world. It is in the shadows that we realize the beauty of the light.

Two tiny lives that we never really knew have given us a chance to ask questions about life that may have never been asked.

Two years ago, another woman was only a month from giving birth to a child, she too, could not keep. Completely different situations and stories, but I have to believe similar heartache. We don't plan these things.

Two lives made way for another child's future. The situation opened our home and hearts for a different path to becoming parents.

Here we are, tree lights twinkling, snow fall again, Christmas wrap on the floor. During a time of year that has shown us such pain, our hearts are full with the anticipation of Christmas. A little boy's excitement for small and wonderful things. Two parents anxiously await the birth of the new baby. The warmth of a memory of two sweet lives that never were, and yet are always here.

David shared a song with me yesterday. The whole song is wonderful, but this one verse grabbed us both.

the table is set and our glasses are full
though pieces go missing, may we still feel whole
we’ll build new traditions in place of the old
‘cause life without revision will silence our souls


Merry Christmas.

SNOW

the branches have traded their leaves for white sleeves
all warm-blooded creatures make ghosts as they breathe
scarves are wrapped tightly like gifts under trees
christmas lights tangle in knots annually

our families huddle closely
betting warmth against the cold
but our bruises seem to surface
like mud beneath the snow

so we sing carols softly, as sweet as we know
a prayer that our burdens will lift as we go
like young love still waiting under mistletoe
we’ll welcome december with tireless hope

let our bells keep on ringing
making angels in the snow
may the melody disarm us
when the cracks begin to show

like the petals in our pockets
may we remember who we are
unconditionally cared for
by those who share our broken hearts

the table is set and our glasses are full
though pieces go missing, may we still feel whole
we’ll build new traditions in place of the old
‘cause life without revision will silence our souls

so let the bells keep on ringing
making angels in the snow
may the melody surround us
when the cracks begin to show

like the petals in our pockets
may we remember who we are
unconditionally cared for
by those who share our broken hearts

as gentle as feathers, the snow piles high
our world gets rewritten and retraced every time
like fresh plates and clean slates, our future is white
new year’s resolutions will reset tonight
(Artist: Sleeping At Last Album: Yearbook/December)