Three Years Already

I can't believe it. Where has all the time gone?

I can joyfully report that life is full, full of kids too! Never would I have thought that our family would end up growing quite like this. One year after we lost the twins, we were sad to celebrate the one year anniversary in a quiet house. The next year we had Zachary home and I was 6 months pregnant! This year, we have almost 3 year old Zach, 9 month old Charlie AND, we are expecting Zach's 1 year old, full biological brother to join our family in 4 short weeks! Yes, we are going to have 3 kids by mid January! We have been showered by the mercy and abundant joy of God's providence in our lives.

In a very complicated and heart wrenching way, yet very poetic all the same, two sweet little boys that never came home, made the way for two brothers to grow up together. We are scared and overwhelmed at the idea of having 3 kids 3 and younger, yet at peace and are excited to welcome the new one into our home and hearts.

In time the sharp pain has been dulled by the busy life of being a mother. Yet in some ways, knowing the joys and trials of being a mom make the pain deeper. I now know what we missed out on. Holding and nursing Charlene has been an incredible experience of bonding with my child. Knowing that I missed out on that, twice, pushes tears to my eyes during sweet moments of precious cuddling. Seeing Zach's zeal and love for life in the way that only a two-year-old boy can express, make us wish we could have seen two little boys jumping and running through our home. But, we are so thankful for the children that we have here with us. And thankful for the experience and short moments with the twins. Our lives would have been different had they lived, but now, we can't imagine life any other way.

It's nice to take the time to write and think about them. Even if it's seldom, it feels good. Healthy and healing.

I've wanted to put together pictures and some in utero video we have of the twins. I guess I wasn't ready until this week. I hadn't watch the video at all since they were born. I finally worked up the courage to pull it out of the box and watch it a few nights ago. Tiny hands and feet were on the camera and a small glimpse of one of their faces. This was while I was still pregnant. I wept. I haven't cried like that in a few years. It felt good. Even though I am so thankful and happy with my life and the children we have, I still miss them, I miss what could have been. I made a short slideshow and have watched it over and over. I guess it has been therapeutical. I wanted to post it here for anyone who would like to watch it. That being said, it was made by their mom. Someone who thinks they are completely beautiful and perfect, even though I now can see how sick and premature they really were. I am not offended if you don't want to watch it. I know images of premature babies can be frightening to some. To me, they couldn't be any more perfect, but I recognize that I have a privileged view. 

Merry Christmas from all five of us!

It's been too long...

...And for some reason I felt like a blog post tonight. Maybe when life seems full, it's good to write down a few thoughts.

So thankful for the opportunity to raise sweet, healthy children. Basically, that's all I have to say. Maybe I can write more in the future, but for now life seems full at the Henry home. So thankful for a home, warm beds, and healthy kids.

She is changing so quickly. For now she is blonde with dark eyes.

Our little girl turned 8 months today. I just love this photo of her cuddling her Da da.

I've been trying to take random photos during the weeks, just documenting life with the kids. So often I'm not in photos and so many times I pick up the house so it doesn't look as chaotic as it really is. I'm sure someday I'll miss messy living spaces and cherish photos of me home with the kids.

We've made it a point to share our love for the outdoors with the kids while they are young. A weekly hike doesn't always happen, but it's the goal. 

Can't believe how sweet this little guy is. He even calls himself "Precious Boy".  My life wouldn't be complete without Zacharoni in it!

I hope your Thanksgiving keeps going and we all think of how sweet it is to be alive.

Charlie is 4 months old!

Head over to Alyssa Henry Photography for some sweet baby cuteness!

Summer Lovin'

Zach and Lydia just can't get enough of each other!

Summer Fun

We've been waiting for Summer all Spring and now that it is here it is flying by! I picked a beautiful bowl of strawberries from our yard tonight. Hanging baskets are in full bloom. The sprinklers are running and Zach is loving being outside almost all day!

Here are some photos from my cell phone. I tend to have it more handy than my camera these days so I get a few more photos of our recent happenings.


Zach holding baby Charlene. He calls her Charlene and it is SO cute!


A sweet morning nap.
Speaking of naps... everyone was actually sleeping, except for Zach...

Still sleeping...


Awake and sweet as always!


I ran the Sawtooth Relay with some lady friends a few weeks ago. 62 miles of pure mountainous beauty!


Zach taking a hit of a Clif Shot after a Sunday morning family run at the track.


Not the greatest photo, but this is Charlie and her new cousin Romie sharing Romie's swing.


The other cousin, Romie's big sister, Lydia. Wearing her favorite "Bruno" tshirt from Jenny.


A favorite new baby card my Aunt Patty sent me. She made the comment inside the card "If this guy can't tell the difference between breast milk and ranch...then he deserves to dip his veggies in breast milk!" Thanks for the laugh... It's still sitting on my kitchen counter.


Zach's new backyard furniture...and if you can see in the background...we have a yard!!


Zach's first movie at the theaters. Cars 2! He was really more excited about ALL that popcorn!


So believe or not, the circus came to our town today! (Just for today)


Zach, David, Danielle and I all went and watched. It was SO hot in there Zach started peeling his clothes. Fun night and good memories!

What to do? What to do?

Lately I've been struggling to find an answer to the question of what to do when the kids take their nap. Yes, both kiddos take a nap at the same time, most days. Super woman? I know! Just kidding, but do remember, I am the bossy sister of 6 younger siblings and I do know a few tricks. That said, please remind me why I haven't put something over my doorbell yet! Darn UPS man!! Doesn't he know it's nap time?!

So, back to my question. When the last eye rolls into the back of their sweet little heads, should I...

Clean up from lunch?
Make dinner?
Fold that basket of laundry?
Watch reality TV?
Pull weeds?
Take a nap myself?
Pick up all the deadly foot traps toy trucks?
Finish eating my lunch?
Mow the yard?

While I figure it out here are some cute pictures.

A family picture during graduation weekend.








My sweet little niece.


So happy for my little brother!


There she is again :)


I just love, love this photo of David with the kids. He's a natural!

My Reflection

I couldn't be happier to announce the birth of our beautiful daughter. Charlene Rivers was born March 30th at 6:55am, 9lbs 8oz and 20 inches long. A moment that we've dreamed of came and we couldn't ask for more. A smooth labor one week after my due date. Followed by an uneventful delivery. Healthy and whole. A sweet, sweet baby was placed on my chest. We are so thankful.

It is really hard to explain those early moments. Exhaustion and pure elation. Deep satisfaction and great awe. Counting all the toes and fingers and studying each detail of her. Such pride and fulfillment. I have to say that I thought I would be very emotional once she came, but I was so overwhelmed with excitement I don't remember any tears. I might have cried but was too tired to have tears I guess. It wasn't until we buckled her into the car seat and I realized that we were bringing this baby home that the emotions took over.

The greatest contrast between leaving a hospital without my babies, to bringing home a daughter a few short years later. The redemption in this moment will forever be with me.

So here we are almost 5 weeks later. David is back to work. The kids and I are settling into a new normal. I wouldn't call it scheduled, each day is different, full of unpredictable moments. Zach is learning to be a gentle big brother. He is actually doing very well. I'm learning how to let things go and yet, keep up with things. Motherhood is quite unique. Talking with another mom friend, we decided that it is full of contradictions. Such as, time goes by so fast and yet so slowly. Staying home can feel very lonely at times, and yet you never feel like you have a moment to yourself. Letting the cleaning and chores go, and yet not neglecting your house completely. Balance, balance, balance... And yet, today, while I was working on preparing dinner, I caught my reflection in the microwave door. A few tears welled up, I looked awful. My hair looking slept on, the hooded sweater I've worn for weeks, pajama pants, and did I mention the purple half moons under my eyes? The tears really weren't because I looked so scary, but a true and deep contentment for my life. Even with all the food and dirt piling in the corners of my kitchen floor, a constant smell of milk on everything I own, an energetic two-year old painting my wall with his mac and cheese and thirty piles of laundry. I wouldn't trade today with anyone. Midnight feedings, really, they are magical. Quiet as it can be, just a sweet baby cuddled in close to her momma. Nothing else is going on and we can just be the two of us. With a sweet husband sleeping next to me and a precious little boy dreaming of Papas and trucks, the world feels right. For as tiring as a day in our house can be, the nights are peaceful. I am blessed.

I didn't realize that shoes were on the lunch menu today.

Our happy baby.

Just the surface of this beast!


More of my happy babies...

We have a slight addiction in our home currently. Zach watches 'Cars' at least once a day (no judgment, it gets us through). He is completely caught up in the movie, and I'm sure he has seen it at least 40 times.

To showers, 8 hours of continuous sleep, fresh makeup, and spit-up free clothes, I won't trade my sweet babies for you.
-Alyssa