Thursday, March 28, 2013

Three years in

I think there are choices in all our lives that at some point we questioned if we have made the "right" choice. When pieces seem to be missing or all the hard work just feels like wheels are spinning and no forward momentum is happening. When our original passion is replaced by fear. Questions start bombarding. We can get so overwhelmed with wanting to know if the future will be better than today that we forget to live in today.

Here's the thing. I have realized that when I ask that question, "did I make the right choice?" rarely is it a yes or no answer that I am looking for. I am seeing the things in my life that force me through discomfort are also the things that cause growth, change my world perspective and push me harder towards an intentional life. Things that seem the most risky and unknown cause me to do that hard inner work that on the other side seem the most worth the effort. When I keep pushing through the discomfort and beg fear to leave, slowly I realize that I am gaining a life that I would never trade. Difficulty, uncertainty and learning to give more than I may have wanted, have given me glimpses of a life more alive than I could imagine.

I am thankful for my children. The way our lives have come together and the life they bring. Even when the unknown seems like good reason to fear, they give me every hope that love is the greater answer and will win every time I stands up to fear.

To three beautiful children, on my third year into this life as their mother.